The Blonde Thought...

A blonde, a fat brunette, and a skinny redhead find a magic mirror. If you lie to the mirror you die. The redhead says, "I look fat," and dies. The brunette says, " I look skinny," and dies. The blonde says, "I think..." and dies.

Duck Doesn't Fit In

Q: What do you call a duck that just doesn't fit in?
A: Mallardjusted.

Cowboy and Indian Find

There was a cowboy and an Indian riding through the desert, when the Indian stopped suddenly and put his ear to the ground. The cowboy stopped and asked, "What is it?" The Indian replied, "Buffalo come." "Wow," said the cowboy, "how did you know?" The Indian replied, "Sticky ear."