Football Tryouts

A jumbo-sized freshman went to try out for the football team. The coach asked him if he could tackle and he said, "Hell yah, get a load of this!" And with that knocked over a telephone pole as if it were made of balsa wood. The coach was dumbfounded and asked if the boy could run, to which the boy replied, "Hell yah!" and he sprinted from endzone to endzone like lightning. The coach stood there with his mouth agape to see such a huge boy run so fast. He finally composed himself and said, "But can you pass a football?" The freshman stopped to think for a few seconds, then said, "Hell yah, if I can swallow it, I can surely pass it!"

Bean Soup

When the waitress in a New York City restaurant brought him the soup du jour, the Englishman was a bit dismayed. "Good heavens," he said, "what is this?" "Why, it's bean soup," she replied. "I don't care what it has been," he sputtered. "What is it now?"

Croak-A-Cola

Q: What do toads drink?
A: Croak-A-Cola!