Sunscreen

Q: Why should lawyers wear lots of sunscreen when vacationing at a beach resort?
A: Because they're used to doing all of their lying indoors.

Pig And Centipede

Q: What do you get when you cross a pig and a centipede?
A: Bacon and legs.

Comforting Marge

One day a woman got on a bus and sat with her 4 year old daughter. The whole ride she said, "hold on Marge, hold on, you will make it through Marge, just a little further Marge, just a little further, hold on...." When she got off the another woman told her, "that so nice of you to comfort little Marge." The woman looked puzzled, "no, my daughter's name is Ann, I'm Marge"