A Minister's Family

After his wife had a baby, the new minister appealed to the congregation for a salary increase to cover the addition to the family. The congregation agreed that it was only fair and approved it. When the next child arrived, the minister appealed, and again, the congregation approved the increase. Several years and five children later, the congregation voiced their unhappiness over the increasing expenses. The minister stood up and shouted "Procreation is an act of God!" An old man in the back stood and shouted back "So are rain and snow, but we wear rubbers for them!"

Can't Take A Joke

Q: What's the difference between three penises and a joke?
A: Your mom can't take a joke.

Mockingbirds Everywhere

Q: What would you have if you had 2,000 mockingbirds?
A: Two kilomockingbirds! (to kill a mocking birds)