Bragging On Japan

There was a Japanese man who went to America for sightseeing. On the last day, he hailed a cab and told the driver to drive to the airport.  During the journey, a Honda drove past the taxi. Thereupon, the man leaned out of the window excitedly and yelled, "Honda, very fast! Made in Japan!" After a while, a Toyota sped past the taxi. Again, the Japanese man leaned out of the window and yelled, "Toyota, very fast! Made in Japan!" And then a Mitsubishi sped past the taxi. For the third time, the Japanese leaned out of the window and yelled, "Mitsubishi, very fast!  Made in Japan!" The driver was a little angry, but he kept quiet. And this went on for quite a number of cars. Finally, the taxi came to the airport. The fare was US $300. The Japanese exclaimed, "Wah... so expensive!" There upon, the driver yelled back, "Meter, very fast!  Made in Japan!"

Pair Washed Up on Island

A hurricane capsizes a cruise ship in the Caribbean. A stock broker washes ashore on a remote island. Outside of the beautiful scenery, a fresh water pool and bananas, there is little else. One day, after several months have passed, a gorgeous woman in a small rowboat appears. "Wow! I can't believe I found another person!" she exclaims. "Were you on the cruise ship, too?" "Yes, I was," he answers. "Where did you get that rowboat?" "Oh," she says, "I found it washed up on the beach. Where is your shelter?" "To be honest, I've just been sleeping on the sand," he says. She invites him to her side of the island. Once she's rowed them to her side, she ties up the boat with hand-woven rope. "It took forever to find enough washed up strands to braid that length of rope," she tells him. She leads him to a cozy bungalow painted blue and green. "I scouted for felled trees and then stained the salvaged wood with these really juicy berries I found in the jungle," she tells him. Once inside, she excuses herself to slip into something more comfortable. She returns wearing revealing silk lingerie, smiling provocatively. "I found some washed up suitcases from the cruise ship a few weeks ago," she tells him. "But now that I've found you, I finally have a reason to wear something sexy again. Tell me, haven't you been lonely? Isn't there something that you really, really miss? Something you've been longing for, too?" "Oh wow!" exclaims the man. "You mean you've found the Internet, too?!"

Camping Trip

Sally, a blonde, goes on her first camping trip. Her husband, who was a Scout Leader, was sick so she volunteered to take over for him one weekend. She got everyone together and assigned different duties to each scout.
Gabby was responsible for the food supplies, Mike would be the cook this trip, Johnnie was responsible for their maps and making up a time schedule, Tim was to decide on their events, and to fit them into Johnnie's schedule and Sally would test all their equipment before setting out.
They arrived at Big Moose Mountain and everyone was excited. They arrived right on schedule and were getting ready for their first event - hiking up the mountain. But first, they wanted to get something to eat. So Sally asked Mike if he would prepare the meal and, of course, Mike said he would.
About 10 minutes later he came back and told Sally, "I can't make the supper. I can't light a fire with the matches you brought."
Sally replied, "I don't understand! Those matches should be perfectly fine. I tested them all just before we left."