Son in the Outhouse

A man was heading to England and his next-door neighbor Mrs. Dunn had just sent her son Olmos off to England a week ago. He hadn't called since he was there, so she asked the man to get him to call her. She knew he was staying in a big white house so she told him that. When he arrived in England, the man asked the first person he saw for the big white house. Thinking he meant the outhouse, the Brit said, ''It is in the middle of the park.'' So the man went to the park and saw a white house in the center. He knocked on the door and said, ''Are you Olmos Dunn?'' A voice came from inside, ''Yeah, I just have to find the toilet paper.''

Bragging On Japan

There was a Japanese man who went to America for sightseeing. On the last day, he hailed a cab and told the driver to drive to the airport.  During the journey, a Honda drove past the taxi. Thereupon, the man leaned out of the window excitedly and yelled, "Honda, very fast! Made in Japan!" After a while, a Toyota sped past the taxi. Again, the Japanese man leaned out of the window and yelled, "Toyota, very fast! Made in Japan!" And then a Mitsubishi sped past the taxi. For the third time, the Japanese leaned out of the window and yelled, "Mitsubishi, very fast!  Made in Japan!" The driver was a little angry, but he kept quiet. And this went on for quite a number of cars. Finally, the taxi came to the airport. The fare was US $300. The Japanese exclaimed, "Wah... so expensive!" There upon, the driver yelled back, "Meter, very fast!  Made in Japan!"

Pair Washed Up on Island

A hurricane capsizes a cruise ship in the Caribbean. A stock broker washes ashore on a remote island. Outside of the beautiful scenery, a fresh water pool and bananas, there is little else. One day, after several months have passed, a gorgeous woman in a small rowboat appears. "Wow! I can't believe I found another person!" she exclaims. "Were you on the cruise ship, too?" "Yes, I was," he answers. "Where did you get that rowboat?" "Oh," she says, "I found it washed up on the beach. Where is your shelter?" "To be honest, I've just been sleeping on the sand," he says. She invites him to her side of the island. Once she's rowed them to her side, she ties up the boat with hand-woven rope. "It took forever to find enough washed up strands to braid that length of rope," she tells him. She leads him to a cozy bungalow painted blue and green. "I scouted for felled trees and then stained the salvaged wood with these really juicy berries I found in the jungle," she tells him. Once inside, she excuses herself to slip into something more comfortable. She returns wearing revealing silk lingerie, smiling provocatively. "I found some washed up suitcases from the cruise ship a few weeks ago," she tells him. "But now that I've found you, I finally have a reason to wear something sexy again. Tell me, haven't you been lonely? Isn't there something that you really, really miss? Something you've been longing for, too?" "Oh wow!" exclaims the man. "You mean you've found the Internet, too?!"