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The best jokes and joke writers!

Stopping for Directions

A woman was trying to find her son's baseball field. She drove around and around and finally decided she was lost. She stopped at a gas station to ask for directions. She asked the man behind the counter if he knew where Cooper's Field was. He said, "You turn left at Rainville Road. At the next fork in the road, go to the right. There's a little farm and about a mile after that you turn right. In a few minutes you will see a little service station called Joey's." The woman looked around and observed, "This is called Joey's." The guy was impatient and said, "That's what I was getting around to telling you. The field is right behind the station."

Speeding

A police officer attempts to stop a car for speeding and the guy gradually increases his speed until he's topping 100 mph. He eventually realizes he can't escape and finally pulls over. The cop approaches the car and says, "It's been a long day and my shift is almost over, so if you can give me a good excuse for your behavior, I'll let you go." The guy thinks for a few seconds and then says, "My wife ran away with a cop about a week ago. I thought you might be that officer trying to give her back!" 

Florida Volkswagen

Q: How many people will fit in a Florida Volkswagen?

A: Four in the seats and seven in the ashtray.

Penguin Car Problems

A penguin was driving his car down the highway when steam began to pour out of the hood. He pulled into a repair shop and asked the mechanic to fix his car. The man said to come back in half an hour. So while he waited the penguin went across the street to the bar, and ordered a glass of milk. Since penguins don't have hands to hold glasses, he spilled some milk on his beak. When he returned to the mechanic, he asked what was wrong with his car. The mechanic said it looked like he blew a seal.

Four Blondes in a VW

Q: What do you call four blondes in a Volkswagen?

A: Far-from-thinkin.