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The best jokes and joke writers!

My Feminine Side

Bob, who's gay, decides to go out for a good time and ends up at a gay bar. There he meets an attractive young man named Johnny who he talks to all evening. When the night comes to an end Johnny invites him over to his place. They get in Johnny's car, a pink stretch Cadillac, and proceed to leave the parking lot. Yet Bob is quite concerned when Johnny repeatedly smashes into parked cars as they are leaving the lot. Once they reach Johnny's place, again Johnny looks around and proceeds to smash into parked cars as he's parking his. As they got out of the car Johnny asked, "So Bob, do you like my feminine side?"

You Bought It, You Have To Live With It

An eight year old boy was walking down the road one day when a car pulled over next to him.

"If you get in the car," the driver says, "I'll give you $10 and a piece of candy."

The boy refuses and keeps on walking. A few moments later, not to take no for an answer, the man driving the car pulls over again.

"How about $20 and two pieces of candy?" the man said.

The boy tells the man to leave him alone and keeps on walking. Still further down the road the man pulls over to the side road.

"OK," he says, "this is my final offer. I'll give you $50 and all the candy you can eat."

The little boy stops, goes to the car and leans in.

"Look," he says to the driver. "You bought the Chevrolet, Dad. You'll have to live with it!"

Survivor For Alabamans

With the overwhelming response to the CBS hit "Survivor", Alabamans have made their own version. Contestants are given pink car to drive from Dothan, to Birmingham, on to Decatur, and back to Dothan. On each car is a bumper sticker that says, "I'm gay, I'm a yankee, and I'm here to steal your guns!" First one back wins.

Even More Bumper Stickers!

  • Heart Attacks... God's Revenge for Eating His Animal Friends
  • How many roads must a man travel down before he admits he is lost?
  • I'm an imbecile and I vote
  • Money Isn't Everything... But it Sure Keeps the Kids In Touch
  • If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you!
  • 100,000 sperm and YOU were the fastest?
  • Grow your own dope, plant a man
  • All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets
  • Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
  • I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
  • BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore.
  • I need someone really bad...Are you really bad?
  • Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
  • All men are idiots...I married their king.
  • Reality is a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs
  • Don't drink and drive...You might hit a bump and spill it
  • We are born naked, wet, and hungry....Then things get worse.

Stopping for Directions

A woman was trying to find her son's baseball field. She drove around and around and finally decided she was lost. She stopped at a gas station to ask for directions. She asked the man behind the counter if he knew where Cooper's Field was. He said, "You turn left at Rainville Road. At the next fork in the road, go to the right. There's a little farm and about a mile after that you turn right. In a few minutes you will see a little service station called Joey's." The woman looked around and observed, "This is called Joey's." The guy was impatient and said, "That's what I was getting around to telling you. The field is right behind the station."