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The best jokes and joke writers!

Blonde's New Sportscar

A blonde buys a used sports car. However, during the first joy ride, the engine jerks and the car slows to a stop. The blonde calls a tow truck. The mechanic sets to work, and 10 minutes later, the car is running again. "What was the matter?" she asks. "Simple really, just sh*t in the carburetor" he replies. Taken aback she asks, "Oh, how many times a week do I have to put that in?"

My Feminine Side

Bob, who's gay, decides to go out for a good time and ends up at a gay bar. There he meets an attractive young man named Johnny who he talks to all evening. When the night comes to an end Johnny invites him over to his place. They get in Johnny's car, a pink stretch Cadillac, and proceed to leave the parking lot. Yet Bob is quite concerned when Johnny repeatedly smashes into parked cars as they are leaving the lot. Once they reach Johnny's place, again Johnny looks around and proceeds to smash into parked cars as he's parking his. As they got out of the car Johnny asked, "So Bob, do you like my feminine side?"

Three Gay Men

Three gay male strip club dancers are driving on the freeway when their car breaks down. They didn't have a cell phone and needed a way to get help.  Two of the men get undressed and put on raincoats from the trunk.  They stand at opposite ends of the car and start twerking and flapping their coats open and closed, exposing themselves to the passing traffic. A police car soon pulls up and talks to the driver. “What are those two idiots doing?” says the policeman . “Them?” replies the driver. “They’re my emergency flashers.”

You Bought It, You Have To Live With It

An eight year old boy was walking down the road one day when a car pulled over next to him.

"If you get in the car," the driver says, "I'll give you $10 and a piece of candy."

The boy refuses and keeps on walking. A few moments later, not to take no for an answer, the man driving the car pulls over again.

"How about $20 and two pieces of candy?" the man said.

The boy tells the man to leave him alone and keeps on walking. Still further down the road the man pulls over to the side road.

"OK," he says, "this is my final offer. I'll give you $50 and all the candy you can eat."

The little boy stops, goes to the car and leans in.

"Look," he says to the driver. "You bought the Chevrolet, Dad. You'll have to live with it!"

Car Troubles

A wife comes home and tells her husband, "Dear, something is wrong with my car. It's got water in the carburetor." The husband replies, "That's not possible." "Well," says the wife, "I'm telling you that's the problem." The husband gets up and sighs, "OK, fine. Where'd you park it?" The wife points toward the backyard, "In the swimming pool."