After thousands of people threatened to march into Area 51 the U.S. Air Force made a public statement.
They said, "There is bad news and good news."
First the bad news. The aliens have landed on earth and are being held by the government.
Now the good news. They eat Terrorists and piss gasoline.
Blonde Vs. Terrorist
Q: What's the difference between a blonde having her period and a terrorist?
A: You can negotiate with a terrorist.
A Muslim Extremist orders an Uber. His uber driver arrives so he gets in the car and then asks the driver a question.
Extremist: in the time of Muhammad did they have radio?
Extremist: so why do you have the radio on?
Driver: turns off radio
The extremist then asks another question:
Extremist: in the time of Muhammad did they have air conditioning?
Extremist: so why are you using it?
Driver: turns of the air conditioner
The driver decided to ask the extremist a question.
Driver: in the time of Muhammad did they have Uber?
Extremist: obviously not.
Driver: then get the fuck out!
Q: Why was the suicide bomber disappointed when he met his 72 virgins?
A: He blew off his penis.
Q: Why do terrorists always wear robes?
A: Because goats can hear zippers.