Goodnight ISIS

I woke up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night and I noticed an ISIS Muslim with a large knife sneaking through my next door neighbor's garden toward his house. Suddenly my neighbor came from out of nowhere and smacked him over the head with a shovel, killing him instantly. He then dug a grave and put the body in it and covered it.
Astonished I got back into bed. My wife rolled over and said, "Honey, you're shaking. What happened?" "You'll never believe what I just saw!" I said. "Our next door neighbor still has our shovel that he borrowed last year!"

One Way Ticket

Q: What do you call a building full of Taliban?
A: Jail.

Tyson Strong

Q: What's the difference between Mike Tyson and Osama Bin Laden?
A: Mike Tyson can take a shot to the head.