Annoying Phone Calls
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.
A co-worker of mine fielded phone calls from his Alumni Association every three months for about five years, ostensibly checking to see that his records were up to date, and coincidentally asking if he'd like to donate to the Alumni Association. Once, when checking his records, the employee asked, "Is xxx-xxxx your current phone number?" Seeing his opportunity, he answered no, and made up a new phone number. He hasn't heard from them since.
Steven Wright Jokes Continued
- Today I dialed a wrong number... The other person said, "Hello?" And I said, "Hello, could I speak to Joey?"... They said, "Uh... I don't think so... he's only 2 months old." I said, "I'll wait."
- I got up one morning and couldn't find my socks, so I called Information. She said, "Hello, Information." I said, "I can't find my socks." She said, "They're behind the couch." And they were!
- Last week I bought a new phone. I took it out of the box, hooked it up to the wall... Pressed redial. The phone had a nervous breakdown. I got an answering machine for my phone. Now when I'm not home and somebody calls me up, they hear a recording of a busy signal.
- I like to leave messages before the beep.
- I don't like the sound of my phone ringing so I put my phone inside my fish tank. I can't hear it, but every time I get a call I see the fish freak out I go down to the pet store -- "Gimme another ten guppies, I got a lotta calls yesterday."
- I bought a self-learning record to learn Spanish. I turned it on and went to sleep; the record got stuck. The next day I could only stutter in Spanish.
- I was going to tape some records onto a cassette, but I got the wires backwards. I erased all of the records. When I returned them to my friend, he said, "Hey, these records are all blank."
- I got tired of calling the movies to listen to what is playing so I bought the album.
- I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.
Thank you for calling the constipation hotline...