Britney Spears & Computers
Q: How is a computer like Britney Spears?
A They're both cheap, white, and plastic.
Leave IT at Work
Husband writes code.
Wife : Honey, please go to the super market and get 1 bottle of milk. If they have bananas, bring 6.
He came back with 6 bottles of milk.
Wife: Why the hell did you buy 6 bottles of milk?!?!
Husband (confused): BECAUSE THEY HAD BANANAS.
He still doesn't understand why his wife yelled at him since he did exactly as she told him.
Doesn't It Annoy You When...
Doesn't it annoy you when
- ...there's a car alarm nearby that goes on for hours and the owner is nowhere to be found?
- ...you buy an answering machine so you won't miss any calls, and then everyone hangs up when they hear the machine answer?
- ...there's a cop car in sight and everyone thinks they have to drive 10-15 mph slower than the speed limit?
- ...you're reading a magazine and all those annoying little subscription cards keep falling out?
- ...you tell someone that a door is locked and they try to open it anyway, like it'll magically open for them and not you.
- ...someone says, "well, to make a long story short" and then they go on telling it for another 15 minutes.
- ...a friend or family member says "Yuck! This is awful!!" and then tells you to try some.
- ...you have to inform five different sales people in the same store that you're just looking around.
- ...you rub on hand cream and can't turn the bathroom doorknob to get out.
- ...a waiter or waitress is not around at any time other than right after you put food in your mouth.
- ...your tire gauge lets half the air in your tire when all you want is a pressure reading.
- ...there's a dog in your neighborhood that barks at EVERYTHING.
- ...the power goes out, and you discover every flashlight you have has dead batteries.
- ...someone gets in the express lane at the supermarket and writes a check or uses a credit card.
- ...the elevator stops at every floor and nobody gets on.
- ...you almost ALWAYS back up your computer files but the week you don't, your hard drive crashes and you lose everything.
My kids love going to the Web, and they keep track of their passwords by writing them on Post-it notes. I noticed their Disney password was "MickeyMinnieGoofyPluto," and asked why it was so long. "Because," my son explained, "they say it has to have at least four characters."
Q: What do you call a robot whose sole purpose is to have one-night stands?
A: Nuts and bolts