Keyboard Knowledge

I have a friend who just bought a computer and was instructed to load a program by typing "A:" and then the name of the program. My friend told me it would not work because his keyboard was no good. He said he couldn't type the "dot over dot thingie" and that every time he tried to type the "dot over dot thingie" he kept getting the "dot over comma thingie" no matter how careful he was to press only on the very top of the key. When I taught him about the shift key, he thought I was a genius.

Enterprise Illness

Q: What illness did everyone on the Enterprise catch?
A: Chicken Spocks!

Y2K

President Yeltsin, President Clinton and Bill Gates are invited to have dinner with God. During dinner He tells them, "I needed three important people to send my message out to all the people: Tomorrow I will destroy the Earth."
Yeltsin immediately calls together his cabinet and announces, "I have two really bad news items. God really exists, and tomorrow he will destroy the earth."
Clinton calls an emergency meeting of congress and announces, "I have good news and bad news. The good news is God really does exist; the bad news is tomorrow he's destroying the Earth."
Gates goes back to Microsoft and tells his employees, "I have two pieces of great news. First, I am one of the three most important people on earth, and second, I think I've got the Y2K problem fixed."