Q: When fish play football, who is the captain?
A: The team's kipper!
Why Are The Giants Like Tampons?
Q: Why are the N.Y. Giants like a tampon?
A: They're only good for one period and have no second string.
Fighting Over a Quarter
A guy took his girlfriend to her first football game. Afterward he asked her how she liked the game. "I liked it, but I couldn't understand why they were killing each other for 25 cents," she said. "What do you mean?" he asked. "Well, everyone kept yelling, "Get the quarter back!"
Simba: Dad, what's the Super Bowl?
Mufasa: I don't know Simba, we're lions.
Light Bulb - American Football
Q: How many people at an American football match does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three. One to change it and two to tip the entire contents of the ice bucket over the coach to congratulate him on a successful bulb screwing.