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The best jokes and joke writers!

Punctuation Marks

An English professor wrote the words, "woman without her man is a savage" on the blackboard and directed his students to punctuate it correctly. The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is a savage." The women wrote: "Woman: Without her, man is a savage."

Men and Women Qualities

Q: Why do men walk so fast?

A: They've got three legs!

Q: Why do women talk so much?

A: They've got two mouths!

Men Have Two Faults

Women have their faults. Men have only two. Everything they say and everything they do.

How to Satisfy a Woman/Man Every Time

How to Satisfy a Woman Every Time: Caress, praise, pamper, relish, savor, massage, make plans, fix,empathize, serenade, compliment, support, feed, tantalize, bathe,humor, placate, stimulate, jiffy lube, stroke, console, purr, hug,coddle, excite, pacify, protect, phone, correspond, anticipate,nuzzle, smooch, toast, minister to, forgive, sacrifice for, ply, accessorize, leave, return, beseech, sublimate, entertain, charm,lug, drag, crawl, show equality for, spackle, oblige, fascinate,attend, implore, bawl, shower, shave, trust, grovel, ignore, defend,coax, clothe, brag about, acquiesce, aromate, fuse, fizz, rationalize,detoxify, sanctify, help, acknowledge, polish, upgrade, spoil, embrace,accept, butter-up, hear, understand, jitterbug, locomote, beg, plead,borrow, steal, climb, swim, nurse, resuscitate, repair, patch,crazy-glue, respect, entertain, calm, allay, kill for, die for,dream of, promise, deliver, tease, flirt, commit, enlist, pine,cajole, angelicize, murmur, snuggle, snoozle, snurfle, elevate,enervate, alleviate, spot weld, serve, rub, rib, salve, bite,taste, nibble, gratify, take her places, scuttle like a crab on the ocean floor of her existence, diddle, doodle, hokey-pokey, hanky-panky, crystal blue persuade, flip, flop, fly, don't care ifI die, swing, slip, slide, slather, mollycoddle, squeeze, moisturize,humidify, lather, tingle, slam-dunk, keep on rockin' in the freeworld, wet, slicken, undulate, gelatinize, brush, tingle, dribble,drip, dry, knead, puree, fluff, fold, blue-coral wax, ingratiate,indulge, wow, dazzle, amaze, flabbergast, enchant, idolize and worship, and then go back, Jack, and do it again.

How to Satisfy a Man Every Time:  Show up naked.

Why Man, Then Woman

God created man before creating woman, because you need a rough draft before you create a masterpiece.