Male Hobbies

Q: What two men's hobbies require the most hand-eye coordination?
A: Video games and porn.

Horse and Chicken

A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The chicken runs to the farm but the farmer can't be found. So he drives the farmer's Mercedes back to the mud hole and ties some rope around the bumper. He then throws the other end of the rope to his friend, the horse, and drives the car forward saving him from sinking! A few days later, the chicken and horse were playing in the meadow again and the chicken fell into the mud hole. The chicken yelled to the horse to go and get some help from the farmer. The horse said, "I think I can stand over the hole!" So he stretched over the width of the hole and said, "Grab for my 'thingy' and pull yourself up." And the chicken did and pulled himself to safety. The moral of the story: If you are hung like a horse, you don't need a Mercedes to pick up chicks.

Pair Washed Up on Island

A hurricane capsizes a cruise ship in the Caribbean. A stock broker washes ashore on a remote island. Outside of the beautiful scenery, a fresh water pool and bananas, there is little else. One day, after several months have passed, a gorgeous woman in a small rowboat appears. "Wow! I can't believe I found another person!" she exclaims. "Were you on the cruise ship, too?" "Yes, I was," he answers. "Where did you get that rowboat?" "Oh," she says, "I found it washed up on the beach. Where is your shelter?" "To be honest, I've just been sleeping on the sand," he says. She invites him to her side of the island. Once she's rowed them to her side, she ties up the boat with hand-woven rope. "It took forever to find enough washed up strands to braid that length of rope," she tells him. She leads him to a cozy bungalow painted blue and green. "I scouted for felled trees and then stained the salvaged wood with these really juicy berries I found in the jungle," she tells him. Once inside, she excuses herself to slip into something more comfortable. She returns wearing revealing silk lingerie, smiling provocatively. "I found some washed up suitcases from the cruise ship a few weeks ago," she tells him. "But now that I've found you, I finally have a reason to wear something sexy again. Tell me, haven't you been lonely? Isn't there something that you really, really miss? Something you've been longing for, too?" "Oh wow!" exclaims the man. "You mean you've found the Internet, too?!"