Men Are Like Diplomas

Q: How are men like diplomas?
A: You spend lots of time getting one, but once you have it, you don't know what to do with it.

The Boy with the Long Tongue and Big Lips

Q: What did the boy with a long tongue and big lips say to his mom as he was masturbating?
A: "look Ma', no hands"

Men Like Mascara

Q: How are men like mascara?
A: Any sign of emotion and they're running!