Needs Ironing

A man and his wife were celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary at the same hotel in the same room where they spent their wedding night. In honor of the occasion, she bought a $400.00 silk see-through negligee. After taking off her clothes in the bathroom, she realized that she had left the negligee in the suitcase. Coming out of the bathroom to get it, her husband remarked, "Geez, for $400.00, you'd think they could have ironed the damn thing!"

The Circus vs Las Vegas Dance Show

Q: What's the difference between a circus and a Las Vegas dance show?
A: The circus is an array of cunning stunts.

My Girlfriend Is Smokin'

Q: What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
A: Slow down and use a lubricant.