Scare A Man

Q: How do you scare a man?
A: Sneak up behind him and start throwing rice.

Consoling a Friend

A guy was trying to console a friend who'd just found his wife in bed with another man. "Get over it, buddy," he said. "It's not the end of the world." "It's all right for you to say," answered his buddy. "But what if you came home one night and caught another man in bed with your wife?" The fella ponders for a moment, then says, "I'd break his cane and kick his seeing-eye dog in the ass."

How Many Women Does It Take?

Q: How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, they just sit there in the dark and bitch.