Men are from Earth

Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.

40 Years of Sex Life

It seems that when God was making the world, he called man over and bestowed upon him twenty years of normal sex life.  Man was horrified. "Only twenty years of normal sex life?"  But the Lord was very adamant that was all man could have.  Then the Lord called the monkey and gave him twenty years. "But I don't need twenty years", he protested. "Ten is plenty for me."  Man spoke up eagerly, "Can I have the other ten?".  The monkey graciously agreed.
Then the Lord called the lion and gave him twenty years and the lion, like the monkey, wanted only ten.  Again the man spoke up, "Can I have the other ten?"  The lion said of course he could.  Then came the donkey and he was given twenty years. But like the others, ten was sufficient and again man pleaded, "Can I have the other ten?". 
This explains why man has twenty years of normal sex life, plus ten years of monkeying around, ten years of lion about it, and ten years of making an ass of himself.

Reasons For John's Sex Change

10. Lower auto insurance premiums.
9. Easier to get job because of hiring quotas.
8. Cleaner restrooms.
7. Tired of boring men's fashions and wants something new and exciting.
6. Women live longer.
5. Can get easily picked up in bars.
4. Really likes the guy next door but knows that he is not gay.
3. Failed to make the MEN'S U.S. Olympic Ski Team.
2. Wants to be an assistant to Clarence Thomas to find out if "it's really true."
1. PMS - An Incredible Sensory Experience!!!