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The best jokes and joke writers!

Dreams: Difference Between Genders

Q: Women dream of world peace, a safe environment, and eliminating hunger. What do men dream of?

A: Being stuck in an elevator with the Doublemint twins.

Little Johnny in Math Class

Little Johnny was in his math's class one day when the teacher singled him out. "If I gave you $20," the teacher began, "and you gave $5 to Mary, $5 to Sally and $5 to Susan, what would you have?" "An orgy," Johnny answered.

Two Appointments At Once

Q: Did you hear about the call girl who accidentally made two appointments at the same time?

A: She managed to squeeze them both in.

Pros And Cons of A Threesome

Pros and cons of a threesome

Advantages

  • It can get really weird
  • Someone can go for beer without interrupting the proceedings
  • There's always a hand or mouth free when you need one
  • Motel rooms split 3 ways are only $13
  • You get to watch your best friends making love
  •  You get to get watched making love
  • Simultaneously enjoying intercourse and oral sex has to be experienced to be believed
  • You get strange looks when you all go out dancing
  • You get really strange looks when you all go out comparison shopping for condoms
  • Enough people to play gin rummy if things don't work out
  • You can safely check yourself for any homosexual tendencies without actually doing anything about it
  • Calling out the wrong name during climax isn't as much of a problem, the "wrong name" is probably the one on your left
  • Three-person showers are fantastic
  • Three-person naked belly laughs are even better
  • Three-person kisses are best

Disadvantages 

  • It can get really weird
  • Tougher for three people to decide on pizza toppings
  • Simultaneous orgasms are even trickier to pull off
  • You may harbor paranoid thoughts that while you're in the bathroom; the other two are giggling over the pimple on your butt
  • Trying to find safe places to put your elbows
  • You get to find out what kind of really sick things your friends like
  • Queen-sized beds are suddenly smaller than you remember them
  • Trying to fit 3 names in the little heart when drawing on your notebooks
  • Morning breath multiplied by 3
  • You might discover homosexual tendencies you didn't suspect or want
  • You might discover homosexual tendencies in one of your friends you didn't suspect or want
  • You have the option of wrecking twice the normal number of relationships
  • The odds of boyfriends/spouses walking in on you triple
  • Sorting clothes quickly when the significant other walks in assumes comical proportions
  • Now there are two wet spots to avoid.

Cloned Threesome

My boyfriend wants to have a threesome. So I told him when cloning is legal, then he can have one.