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Sex Jokes - Private Parts
Patenting A Peach
A farmer goes to the patent office to patent a peach, and the patent officer says "you can't patent a peach, the peach has already been patented!" And the farmer says,
"Oh no. Not THIS kind of peach. Go ahead, try it!" So the patent officer takes a bite, and says
"oh, wow! This is so good! It tastes like- blackberry pie!" And the farmer says
"Yeah, and Do you like vanilla ice cream? Well then you gotta flip it over & try the other side". So the patent officer does and he's like
"Man! that really does taste like vanilla ice cream! I can't believe it!" So then the farmer looks around a bit and lowers his voice almost to a whisper, and says:
"Psst! Have you ever tasted pussy?"
"Oh yeah, I've eaten plenty of pussy!"
"And you like it, right?"
"Yeah I LOVE the taste of pussy" says the patent officer, starting to get excited.The farmer says,
"OK, then take a bite, right there" So the patent officer takes this HUGE bite, and then his eyes widen & he spits it out all over the place.
"Oh, Yuck! That tasted like SHIT!" & the farmer says
"shoot,...I'm sorry- flip it over & try the other side!"
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The Rubdown
A hospital patient, recovering from minor surgery, was being given an alcohol rubdown by two of the hospital's more attractive nurses. While manipulating the man's body they noted that the word "tiny" was tattooed on the head of his penis.
Some months after the man's discharge, Mary, one of the nurses, told Joan, the other, that she had dated their former patient. "How could you go out with a man that had 'tiny' tattooed on his love stick?" exclaimed Joan.
"How could I indeed!" said Mary. "It said 'tiny' when it was soft, but when aroused, it spelled: 'Tiny's Delicatessen & Catering Service. We deliver at all times, twenty-four hours a day!!!'"
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Let Go
One day a guy and a girl were making out in the guy's car in the girl's driveway. They began to get pretty hot and heavy when the guy reached into his pants and placed his cock in her hand. She froze, jumped up and said, "I've got two words for you, DROP DEAD!" Then he said, "I've got two words for you, LET GO!"
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