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Sex Jokes
Body Language
A young couple left the sex therapist's office determined to develop more effective body language. "Alright," said the husband, "when I want sex, I'll rub your right breast. When I don't want sex, I'll rub your left breast." "Okay," said the wife, "What should I do then?" "Well, when you want to have sex," he told her, "rub my penis once. When you don't want any sex, rub it 200 times."
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German Birth Control
Q: What do Germans use for birth control?
A: Their personalities!
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The Rabbi's Pay
There was a Rabbi whose wife was expecting a baby. The Rabbi went to the congregation and asked for a raise. After much consideration and discussion, they passed a rule that when the Rabbi's family expanded, so would his paycheck. After five or six children, this started to get expensive. The congregation decided to hold a meeting again to discuss the Rabbi's pay situation. As you can imagine there was much yelling and bickering. Finally, the Rabbi got up and spoke to the crowd. "Having children is an act of God!" In the back of the room, a little old man with a full beard stood up and in his frail voice said.. "Point of information - snow and rain are also 'acts of God', but we wear rubbers!"
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