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Sex Jokes
Lite Beer & Canoes
Q: How can you compare a lite beer to making love in a canoe?
A: They're both fucking close to water!
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Sex in a Marriage
There are four kinds of sex involved in a marriage.
The first is Smurf Sex... This happens during the honeymoon; you both keep doing it until you're blue in the face.
The second is Kitchen Sex... This is at the beginning of the marriage; you'll have sex anywhere, anytime. Hence, also in the kitchen.
The third kind is Bedroom Sex... You've calmed down a bit, perhaps have kids, so you gotta do it in the bedroom.
The fourth kind is Hallway Sex... This is where you pass each other in the hallway and say, "Fuck you!"
There is also a fifth kind of sex: Courtroom Sex... This is when you get divorced and your wife fucks you in front of everyone in court!
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Redneck Sex Lesson
Ma and Pa are sitting out on the front porch one day. "You know what? Junior's 21. It's time we taught him about sex. Junior, get out here!" Junior runs out. "Junior, I think it's time to teach you about sex." "Sex," says Junior. "What's sex?" "Well," Pa says. "Take off your clothes, Ma." So Ma takes off her clothes. "You see that hole in Ma? Watch this." Pa starts doing it right there on the porch. A little while goes by and Junior's younger brother, Bubba comes out on the porch and asks what's going on. "Ma and Pa are teaching me about sex." "Sex? What's sex?" "See that hole in Pa? Watch this!"
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