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Sex Jokes
Gender Logic
Two brunettes and a blonde are having lunch at a cafe, all three are pregnant. Through out the coversation the topic of sex and pregnancy comes up, finally culminating in each one discussing their respective fetus' and the manner of conception. The first brunette says "I know I am going to have a boy because I was on top." The second brunette says "I know I am going to have a girl because I was on the bottom." The blonde is silent, she has a stricken look on her face, finally she bursts out "Oh my god, I'm going to have a puppy".
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It's Football Time Again
An old man and his wife have gone to bed. After laying there a few minutes, the old man farts and says, "Seven Points. "His wife rolls over and says, "What in the world was that?" The old man replied, "It's fart football!" A few minutes later the wife lets one go and says -"Touchdown, tie score!" After about five minutes the old man farts again and says -"Touchdown, I'm ahead 14 to 7!"Not to be out done the wife rips another one and says, -"Touchdown, tie score!" Five seconds go by and she lets out a squeaker and says -"Field goal, I lead 17 to 14!" Now the pressures on and the old man refuses to get beat by a woman so he strains real hard but to no avail. Realizing a defeat is totally unacceptable he gives it everything he has but instead of farting he poops the bed. The wife looks and says, "What the heck was that?" The old man replied, "Half-time, Switch sides!"
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Craig's List - Robot
A man buys a lie detector robot that slaps people who lie. He decides to test it at dinner. He asks his son, "Son, where were you today during school hours?" "At school." The robot slaps the son. "Okay, I went to the movies!" The father asks, "Which one?" "Harry Potter." The robot slaps the son again. "Okay, I was watching porn!" The father replies, "What? When I was your age I didn't even know what porn was!" The robot slaps the father. The mom chimes in, "Haha! After all, he is your son!" The robot slaps the mother.
The robot is back on Craig's list.
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