Sex Jokes - Oral Sex Jokes
The Talking Banana
Q: What did the banana say to the vibrator?
A: Why the hell are you shaking? Shes gonna eat me!
A young man, in the course of his college life, came to terms with his homosexuality and decided to "come out of the closet." His plan was to tell his mother first; so on his next home visit, he went to the kitchen, where his mother was busying herself stirring stew with a wooden spoon. Rather nervously, he explained to her that he had realized he was gay. Without looking up from her stew, his mother said, "You mean, homosexual?" "Well...yes." Still without looking up: "Does that mean you suck men`s penises?" Caught off guard, the young man eventually managed to stammer an embarrassed affirmative; whereupon his mother turned to him and, brandishing the wooden spoon threateningly under his nose, snapped: "Don`t you EVER complain about my cooking again!"
One day a boy approached his mother with a question. "Mom, how come every night I hear you and daddy fighting and yelling, but when I look in your room you're on top of each other?" His mother, very surprised, replies; "Honey you know how fat daddy is, I'm jumping on top of him to help him lose weight." The boy knows that's not working and tells his mother why... "Mom that's not going to help, because the lady next door comes by after you leave for work, and blows him back up again!"
What's the difference between a ritz cracker and a lesbian? One's a snack cracker, the other a crack snacker!
Definition of Sex
Hillary and Chelsea were having a deep heart to heart talk about Chelsea's college experiences.
Hillary: So have you found dating to be fulfilling experience?
Chelsea: It's okay, but I don't like how the boys sometimes act like real sex hounds.
Hillary: Well, uh, have you, uh, actually had sex?
Chelsea: Well Mom, no, not IF you define sex the way Daddy does.