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The best jokes and joke writers!

The Truth

With all due respect, President Clinton was telling the truth when he said he was not having sex with that woman... Of course he was referring to Hillary!

A Glass of Water and Two Asprins

A man brings his wife a glass of water and two aspirins. She looks surprised and says, I don't have a headache!" He says, "Aha!"

Keep A Man From Wanting Sex

Q: How do you keep a man from wanting sex?

A: You marry him!

Go Fly a Kite

So this guy was out on his front lawn flying a kite, he was really having a difficult time. The kite was swinging wildly, not exactly what you'd describe as stable, so his wife sticks her head out the door and says, "Gee Ralph, it looks like you need more tail." Ralph replies "Make up your damn mind, last night you told me to go fly a kite!"

Paralyzed

Q: What's it called when a woman is paralyzed from the waist down?

A: Marriage.