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Sex Jokes
The New Priest
A new priest was beginning in the Church confessional. His predecessor had given him a list of sins and their punishments. The door opened and a man entered. "Forgive me Father for I have sinned," he began. "I have stolen." The priest looked up stealing on the list and told him to say one Hail Mary. The next time the door opened, a woman walked in. "Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I had oral sex with the window cleaner." The priest looked up oral sex on the list but couldn't find it. He opened his door and called out to the cleaning lady, "What does Father John give for a blow job?" "$12.50 if I take me teeth out."
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Washing Cars
Washing a car, is very much like making love to a beautiful woman. You've got to caress the bodywork. Breathe softly and gently. And give every inch of it your loving attention. And make sure you've got a nice wet sponge.
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Small Mistake
The divorce court was attentive as the wealthy Yuppette complained to the Judge that her husband had left her bed and board. When she had finished, the husband's lawyer rose to his feet and coolly replied, "Your Honor, I have a slight correction in the typing of the charging documents. My client claims that he left her bed 'bored'."
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