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Don't Need One
A little boy plays in a sandbox with the little girl from next door. He brags, "I have a big fire engine." The girl responds, "So what? I have a fire engine too." He says, "I have a toy tank." She replies, "So what? I have a tank, too." The young boy drops his pants and says, "I have a penis!" The little girl looks down her pants and runs home crying. The next day, the little girl returns to the sandbox. The little boy says, "You still don't have a penis and I do!" "Well," says the little girl, "my mom told me not to worry about it. She said as long as I have what I have, I can get as many of those as I want."
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Navy Ships
You know why they put marines on navy ships?
So the sailors have someone to dance with.
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Elephant With Thorn
An elephant is walking through the jungle when she gets a thorn in her foot. She is in absolute agony until an ant strolls by. So the elephant says, "Help me, help me." But the ant refuses unless the elephants agrees to let the ant have his wicked way with her. Replies the elephant, "Anything! Anything!" So, out comes the thorn and up gets the ant and proceeds to enjoy himself. Meanwhile, in a tree directly above them, a monkey, who witnessed the whole episode, was in knots of laughter. Consequently he fell out of the tree on top of the elephant. Says the elephant: "Ouch!" Says the ant, in his own little frenzy: "Suffer BITCH, SUFFER!!!"
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