Sex Jokes

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Crotchless Panties

Mongo's old lady decided she wanted to do something special to please him on his birthday, so she bought a pair of crotchless panties. That night, as he came into the house, she lay sprawled on the couch spread-eagle.
"Hi hon," she purred sexily. "Y'all want some of this?"
"Hell, no!" he hollered. "Look at what it's done to your undies!"

Categories: Sex Jokes (Private Parts)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

A Stuttering Problem

A man visits the doctor's because he has a severe stuttering problem. After a thorough examination, the doctor consults with the patient. Doctor: 'It appears that the reason for your stuttering is that your penis is about six inches too long and it is thus pulling on your vocal cords, and thereby causing you this annoying problem of stuttering. Patient: Dddoctttor . Whhaaat cccan I dddo? (Doctor what can I do?) The doctor scratches his forehead, thinks for a minute and states that there is a procedure where we can free up the strain on the vocal cords by removing the six inches from the penis and freeing him from this horrible problem. The patient stuttering badly states that this problem has caused him so much embarrassment as well as loss of employment that anything would be worth it. The doctor plans for the procedure. The operation is a success and six months later the patient comes in for his check up. Patient: "Doctor, the operation was a success. I have not stuttered since the operation. I have a great job and my self esteem is fantastic. However, there is one problem, my wife says that she sort of misses the great sex we used to have before the extra six inches were removed. So I was wondering if it is possible to reattach those six inches. The doctor scratches his forehead, thinks for a minute and says:I dddoonnn't ttthhhinkkkk thatttt wooould bbbbee possssssibbble.

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

How many does it take?

Joe is having a drink in his local bar when in walks this gorgeous woman. Joe, not being too shy, goes up and sits next to her. He buys her a drink and then another and then another. After this and the accompanying small-talk, Joe asks her back to his place for a "good time." "Look," says the woman, "What do you think I am? I don't turn into a slut after 3 drinks, you know!" "OK," replies Joe, "So how many does it take?"

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous