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The best jokes and joke writers!

Difficult Homework

Bill: "My homework is really difficult tonight, I've to write an essay on an elephant."

Bert: "Well, for a start your going to need a big ladder.."

The Call of Nature

One fine day in the middle of class at school, a girl raised her asking to be excused: "Teacher, can I answer the call of nature?" Knowing what the kid wanted, the teacher said okay. Immediately, the girl ran to the toilet. Within a minute, she was back. Another girl was shocked by how she could actually take care of business so quickly, and asked how she managed to do it so fast. The girl responded, "It was a prank call."

I Will Not

  • I will not waste chalk...
  • I will not skateboard in the halls...
  • I will not burp in class...
  • I will not draw naked ladies in class...
  • I did not see Elvis...
  • I will not call my teacher `Hot Cakes'...
  • Garlic gum is not funny...
  • They are laughing at me, not with me...
  • I will not yell 'fire' in a crowded classroom...
  • I will not encourage others to fly...
  • I will not fake my way through life...
  • Tar is not a play thing...
  • I will not Xerox my butt...
  • I will not trade pants with others...
  • I will not do that thing with my tongue...
  • I will not drive the principal's car...
  • I will not pledge allegiance to Bart...
  • I will not sell school property...
  • I will not instigate revolution...

Most Popular Answer

Teacher to student: Arnold what is the most popular answer to the teacher's questions? Arnold: I don't know ma'am. Teacher: ''Correct!'''

Beverly Hills

One day there were four people absent from class. The next day one of the boys came back to school, and the teacher asked where he was. He replied "On top of Beverly Hills." The teacher said "Okay." Then the next day, another boy came in and the teacher asked where were you? He replied "On top of Beverly Hills." The teacher said "Okay." The next day the third boy came in and the teacher asked "Where were you?" and he replied "On top of Beverly Hills". The third person came in and the teacher asked "Where were you?" Before the girl could say anything the teacher said "Let me guess, on top of Beverly Hills?" The girl said "No I am Beverly Hills."