School Jokes - College Jokes
MIT Course Evaluation Results
These are actual student evaluation comments taken from an MIT course evaluation guide in the fall semester of 1991.
- "This class was a religious experience for me... I had to take it all on faith."
- "Text makes a satisfying `thud' when dropped on the floor."
- "The class is worthwhile because I need it for the degree."
- "His blackboard technique puts Rembrandt to shame."
- "Textbook is confusing... Someone with a knowledge of English should proofread it."
- "Have you ever fell asleep in class and awoke in another? That's the way I felt all term."
- "In class I learn I can fudge answers and get away with it."
- "Keep lecturer or tenure board will be shot."
- "The recitation instructor would make a good parking lot attendant. Tries to tell you where to go, but you can never understand him."
- "Text is useless. I use it to kill roaches in my room."
- "In class the syllabus is more important than you are."
- "I am convinced that you can learn by osmosis by just sitting in his class."
- "Help! I've fallen asleep and I can't wake up!"
- "Problem sets are a decoy to lure you away from potential exam material."
- "Recitation was great. It was so confusing that I forgot who I was, where I was, and what I was doing -- it's a great stress reliever."
- "He is one of the best teachers I have had... He is well-organized, presents good lectures, and creates interest in the subject. I hope my comments don't hurt his chances of getting tenure."
- "I would sit in class and stare out the window at the squirrels. They've got a cool nest in the tree."
- "He teaches like Speedy Gonzalez on a caffeine high."
- "This course kept me out of trouble from 2-4:30 on Tuesdays and Thursdays."
- "Most of us spent the 1st 3 weeks terrified of the class. Then solidarity kicked in."
- "Bogus number crunching. My HP is exhausted."
- "The absolute value of the TA was less than epsilon."
- "TA steadily improved throughout the course... I think he started drinking and it really loosened him up."
- "Information was presented like a ruptured fire hose -- spraying in all directions -- no way to stop it."
- "I never bought the text. My $60 was better spent on the Led Zeppelin tapes that I used more while doing the problem sets that I would have used the text."
- "What's the quality of the text? `Text is printed on high quality paper.'"
Duke Freshman to Change Lightbulb
Q: How many Duke freshmen does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None, because that's a sophomore course at Florida State and Virginia.
The Talking Clock
While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den. "What is the big brass gong and hammer for?" one of his friends asked. "That is the talking clock", the man replied. "How's it work?" the friend asked. "Watch", the man said then proceeded to give the gong an ear shattering pound with the hammer. Suddenly someone screamed from the other side of the wall... "KNOCK IT OFF, YOU ASSHOLE, IT'S THREE O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING!"
Falling In Love
An university student fell in love, and dropped out of school to marry her young love. She wrote to her parents to say that she had put the heart before the course.
College Roommates
Three college roommates -- two females and a male -- began to argue after dinner about whose turn it was to do the dishes. "All right," one of the girls said, "the first one to speak has to do them." The trio retired to the living room to watch TV. When their neighbor, a school football star, came by, the three remained silent. The visitor shrugged and led one of the girls into her bedroom. Forty-five minutes later, the young man emerged and approached the second girl. Through sign language, they agreed to adjourn to her bedroom. When he came out, he began to fix himself a cup of tea but burned his fingers on the stove. "Hey, where's some petroleum jelly?" he hollered from the kitchen. "Oh, hell!" the male roommate said, jumping up. "I'll do the dishes."