Falling In Love
An university student fell in love, and dropped out of school to marry her young love. She wrote to her parents to say that she had put the heart before the course.
Three college roommates -- two females and a male -- began to argue after dinner about whose turn it was to do the dishes. "All right," one of the girls said, "the first one to speak has to do them." The trio retired to the living room to watch TV. When their neighbor, a school football star, came by, the three remained silent. The visitor shrugged and led one of the girls into her bedroom. Forty-five minutes later, the young man emerged and approached the second girl. Through sign language, they agreed to adjourn to her bedroom. When he came out, he began to fix himself a cup of tea but burned his fingers on the stove. "Hey, where's some petroleum jelly?" he hollered from the kitchen. "Oh, hell!" the male roommate said, jumping up. "I'll do the dishes."
Language Makes Us Dominant
I had a linguistics professor who said that it's man's ability to use language that makes him the dominant species on the planet. That may be. Though, I think there's one other thing that separates us from animals; we aren't afraid of vacuum cleaners.
Clever Med Student
The medical student was asked for reasons why mother's milk was better for babies than cow's milk. This is the answer he submitted:
1. It's fresher.
2. It's cleaner.
3. The cats can't get to it.
4. It's easier to take on a picnic.
He also added: "It comes in such cute containers."
Books for College
A Polish student was in his the college campus bookstore. While questioning the store clerk about a book for one of his classes, the clerk responded, "This book will do half the job for you." "Good," the Polack replied, "I'll take two."