School Jokes - College Jokes

Q: What do a virgin and Harvard University have in common?

A: They're both hard to get into.

Q: How many Duke freshmen does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: None, because that's a sophomore course at Florida State and Virginia.

While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den. "What is the big brass gong and hammer for?" one of his friends asked. "That is the talking clock", the man replied. "How's it work?" the friend asked. "Watch", the man said then proceeded to give the gong an ear shattering pound with the hammer. Suddenly someone screamed from the other side of the wall... "KNOCK IT OFF, YOU ASSHOLE, IT'S THREE O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING!"

I had a linguistics professor who said that it's man's ability to use language that makes him the dominant species on the planet. That may be. Though, I think there's one other thing that separates us from animals; we aren't afraid of vacuum cleaners.

The medical student was asked for reasons why mother's milk was better for babies than cow's milk. This is the answer he submitted:
1. It's fresher.
2. It's cleaner.
3. The cats can't get to it.
4. It's easier to take on a picnic.
He also added: "It comes in such cute containers."