Priorities

Three guys go into a bar, one in a wheelchair, one is blind and the other appears normal. A couple of minutes later, God walks in to get a beer. He sees the guys and decides to have compassion on them. He touches the blind guy on the forehead, and his sight is restored. He touches the man in the wheelchair and the guy jumps up and walks away. He walks to the last guy and the guy yells, 'Whoa, God! I'm on workman's comp!'

Y2K

President Yeltsin, President Clinton and Bill Gates are invited to have dinner with God. During dinner He tells them, "I needed three important people to send my message out to all the people: Tomorrow I will destroy the Earth."
Yeltsin immediately calls together his cabinet and announces, "I have two really bad news items. God really exists, and tomorrow he will destroy the earth."
Clinton calls an emergency meeting of congress and announces, "I have good news and bad news. The good news is God really does exist; the bad news is tomorrow he's destroying the Earth."
Gates goes back to Microsoft and tells his employees, "I have two pieces of great news. First, I am one of the three most important people on earth, and second, I think I've got the Y2K problem fixed."

God Has To Be Fair.

If God doesn't destroy Hollywood Boulevard, he owes Sodom and Gomorrah an apology.