GOD Will Save Him

The police were going door to door warning everyone to evacuate because the river was rising. One door they came to, the man said  "GOD will save me". The river continued to rise and he was forced to move everthing to the second floor of his house. A man in a boat came by and offered to save him.   Again he said  "GOD will save me". Pretty soon the second story was flooded and he was forced to get on the roof of his house. A helicopter came by and tried to save him and yet again he said "GOD will save me". It wasn't long before the house was completely covered and the man died and went to heaven. He confronted God with "Why didn't you save me, GOD?" And God said " I sent you the police, a boat and a helicopter. Why did you stay in the house?"

Practice Makes Perfect

Q: What did God say after creating Eve?
A: "Practice makes perfect."

Glad You Prayed

Johnny, a very bright 5 year old, told his daddy he'd like to have a baby brother and, along with his request, offered to do whatever he could to help. His dad, a very bright 35 year old, paused for a moment and then replied, "I'll tell you what, Johnny, if you pray every day for two months for a baby brother, I guarantee that God will give you one!" Johnny responded eagerly to his dad's challenge and went to his bedroom early that night to start praying for a baby brother. He prayed every night for a whole month, but after that time, he began to get skeptical. He checked around the neighborhood and found out that what he thought was going to happen, had never occurred in the history of the neighborhood. You just don't pray for two months and then, whammo- a new baby brother. So, Johnny quit praying. After another month, Johnny's mother went to the hospital. When she came back home, Johnny's parents called him into the bedroom. He cautiously walked into the room, not expecting to find anything, and there was a little bundle lying right next to his mother. His dad pulled back the blanket and there was -- not one baby brother, but two!! His mother had twins! Johnny's dad looked down at him and said, "Now aren't you glad you prayed?" Johnny hesitated a little and then looked up at his dad and said, "Yes, but aren't you glad I quit when I did?"