Religion Jokes - Catholic Jokes

Biblical One-liners

Q. What kind of man was Boaz before he married? A. Ruthless
Q. What do they call pastors in Germany? A. German Shepherds.
Q. Who was the greatest financier in the Bible? A. Noah. He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.
Q. What was the greatest female financier in the Bible? A. Pharaoh's daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet.
Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible? A. Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury. David's Triumph was heard throughout the land. Honda, because the apostles were all in one Accord.
Q. Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible? A. Samson. He brought the house down.
Q. What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden? A. Your mother ate us out of house and home.
Q. Which servant of God was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible?
A. Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once.
Q. Which area of Palestine was especially wealthy? A. The area around Jordan. The banks were always overflowing.
Q. Who is the greatest baby-sitter mentioned in the Bible? A. David. He rocked Goliath to a very deep sleep.
Q. Which Bible character had no parents? A. Joshua, son of Nun.

Categories: Religion Jokes (Jesus Jokes) , Religion Jokes (Protestant Jokes) , Religion Jokes (Catholic Jokes) , Religion Jokes (Jewish Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

The Spiritual Leader

One balmy evening in Rome the Pope decides to take a walk. He slips out the rear door of the Vatican and is walking through the back alleys of Rome when he sees a ten-year-old boy smoking a cigarette. The Pope gently says to him, "Youngman, you're much too young to smoke!" The kid looks up at the Pope and says, "Fuck you!" The Pope is completely taken aback. "What?" he says. "You say that to me, the Pontiff, the Vicar of Christ, the head of the Roman Catholic Church? I am the spiritual leader for millions of people, young man, the representative of God, and you dare to say that to me?'  No, no, no, kid, Fuck You!"

Categories: Religion Jokes (Catholic Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Lunch Menu

Q: What happened when the cannibal bit off a missionary's ear?
A: He had his first taste of Christianity!

Categories: Dark Humor Jokes (Corpse Jokes) , Religion Jokes (Catholic Jokes)
Anonymous