Maria is a devout Catholic. She gets married and has 17 children. Then her husband dies. She re- marries two weeks later, and has 22 children by her next husband. Then he dies. A while later, she dies. At the funeral, the priest looks skyward and says, "At least they're finally together." A guy sitting in the front row says, "Excuse me Father, but do you mean her and her first husband, or her and her second husband?" The priest says, "I mean her legs."
Up A Tree
A little girl was playing up a tree near a church. The priest was taking a walk when he happened to look up the tree and saw the little girl. She had no panties on, so he called her down and gave her money to buy a pair of panties. The girl was so happy and told her mommy about it. The next day, when the priest was taking his daily walk, he looked up the same tree and saw the young girl's mother up there. She had no panties on, so he called her down, gave her two dollars and told her to buy a razor.
A substitute for a Catholic priest is hearing confessions. He is confused about what to recommend a confessor should do to rectify guilt sustained, after doing a sexual favor for her boss. He sticks his head out of the confessional and asks a nearby alter boy what the father gives for a blowjob. The alter boy responds, "Usually a Snickers and a ride home."
The Pope and the Rams
What do the Pope and the Rams, both appearing in the St. Louis Trans World Dome, have in common?
They both feature 3 million people saying, 'Jesus Christ!'
On the airplane on his way back to Rome, the Pope was doing a crossword puzzle. After a while, he turned the the bishop sitting next to him and said, "What's a four-letter word ending in "unt" which means "woman"
The bishop said, "Did you try "aunt?"
The Pope said,"Mmmm. Do you have an eraser?"