Nun's Underpants

Three nuns used to go to the church from their homes every day. On the way they would pass a house where a parrot lived. The parrot would call out three colors every time the nuns would pass by. They soon realized that the parrot was calling out the colors of their respective underpants. They tried to fool the parrot by switching positions while walking and even wearing different colored underpants every day, but the parrot was never wrong. Finally they devised a way to fool the parrot by not wearing any underpants at all. When they walked across the house the parrot spoke out loud, ''Straight, straight, curly.''

A Trip to Pittsburgh

There were three priests in a railroad station, all wanting to go home to Pittsburgh. Behind the ticket counter was a very, very shapely lass. Well endowed, gorgeous, amazing. The priests were all in embarrassing new territory, so they drew straws to determine who would get the tickets. The first priest approached the window. "Young lady," he began, "I would like three pickets to titsburg..." Whereupon he completely lost his composure and fled. The second priest approached. "Young lady, I would like three tickets to Pittsburgh," he began, "and I would like the change in nipples and dimes." So of course he also fled. Then came the third. "Young lady, I would like three tickets to Pittsburgh, and I would like the change in nickels and dimes. And I must say," he continued, "if you insist on dressing like that, when you get to the pearly gates, St. Finger's going to shake his peter at you!"

Proof That Jesus Was Jewish

Three Proofs that Jesus was Jewish:

1. He went into his father's business.
2. He lived at home until the age of 33.
3. He was sure his mother was a virgin, and his mother was sure he was God.

Three Proofs that Jesus was Irish:

1. He never got married.
2. He never held a steady job.
3. His last request was a drink.

Three Proofs that Jesus was Puerto Rican:

1. His first name was Jesus.
2. He was always in trouble with the law.
3. His mother wasn't married to his father.

Three Proofs that Jesus was Italian:

1. He talked with his hand.
2. He had wine with every meal.
3. He worked in the building trades.

Three Proofs that Jesus was Black:

1. He called everybody brother.
2. He had no permanent address.
3. Nobody would hire him.

Three Proofs that Jesus was Californian:

1. He never cut his hair.
2. He walked around barefoot.
3. He invented a new religion.