Religion Jokes

Payment for Killing Birds

Three friends die and go to heaven. The first guy gets handcuffed to one of the ugliest girls there. ''Why?'' he asks. St. Paul replies, ''When you were nine you killed a bird with a stone.'' The same happens to the second guy. He asks why. St. Paul replies, ''When you were nine you killed a bird with a stone.'' The third guy laughs at his friends and says, ''Thank God I didn't do anything like that.'' He gets handcuffed to the prettiest girl in heaven. The other two guys ask, ''Why?'' ''Because when she was nine she killed a bird with a stone.''

Categories: Animal Jokes (Bird Jokes) , Appearance Jokes (Ugly Jokes) , Religion Jokes (Heaven Jokes)
Anonymous

Floating Condom

Reverend Smith visits Mrs. Jenkins, one of the elder parishioners in his church. Reverend Smith notices that on top of Mrs. Jenkins' organ sits a bowl which contains a condom floating in water. Befuddled, Reverend Smith asks her to explain this. "Oh, Reverend Smith," she replies, "I found that lying on the street corner, and the package said that if you put it on your organ and keep it wet that it will prevent disease. Frankly, I haven't been sick all year."

Categories: Religion Jokes , Sex Jokes , Word Play Jokes
Anonymous

Dumb Enough To Love

"God," said Adam, "Why did you make Eve so beautiful?" "So you would love her." "But why did you make her so dumb?" "So she would love you."

Categories: Sexist Jokes (Men vs Women Jokes) , Religion Jokes (God Jokes)
Anonymous