God is an Artist

A Sunday school teacher began her lesson with a question. "Boys and girls, what do we know about God?" A hand shot up in the air. "He is an artist!" said the kindergarten boy. "Really?! How do you know?" asked the teacher. "You know? Our Father, who does art in Heaven."

Bakery Tricks

A Jew and an Arab go into a bakery. The Arab steals three pastries and puts them in his pocket. He says to the Jew, "See how good I am? The owner didn't see anything."
The Jew says to the Arab, "That's typical of you dishonest Arabs. I am going to show you an honest way to get the same result."
He goes to the owner of the bakery and says, "Give me a pastry and I will show you a magic trick." Intrigued the owner accepts and gives him a pastry. The Jew swallows it and asks for another one. The owner gives him another one. Then the Jew asks for a third pastry and eats that, too.
The owner is starting to wonder where the magic trick is and asks, "What did you do with the pastries?" The Jew replies, "Look in the Arab's pocket....."

Ancient History Explained...

Ancient History Explained... A team of archaeologists found a slab of rock with 5 figures carved on it, in order; A Woman, A Donkey, A Shovel, A Fish, A Star of David.  After months of study, the leader took the rock and went on a lecture tour. He said the carvings were thousands of years old but even so, they revealed a lot about the people of that time. The woman being placed first in the line of figures showed that women were held in very high esteem - most likely a family oriented culture. They probably used the donkey to till the fields. The shovel shows they were highly intelligent as they knew how to make tools. The fish shows they knew how to augment the crops they raised by also reaping from the sea. The Star of David of course indicates they were a very religious group of people. A little old man in the front row finally got the attention of the speaker. When acknowledged he said, "I'm sorry to blow your conclusions but you were reading it left to right. In Hebrew we read from right to left. That way it reads, "Holy Mackerel, Dig the Ass on that Chick!"