Lesson In Liars

A Sunday school teacher was giving her class the assignment for the next week. "Next Sunday," she said, "we are going to talk about liars, and in preparation for the lesson, I want you all to read the Seventeenth Chapter of Mark." The following week at the beginning of the class, the teacher said, "Now all who have prepared for today's lesson by reading the Seventeenth Chapter of Mark, please come to the front." Half the class stood up and came forward. "The rest of you may leave," said the teacher, "these students are the ones I want to talk speak to. There is no Seventeenth Chapter in the Book of Mark!"

A Preacher's Sermon

A preacher phoned the city's newspaper. "Thank you very much," said he, "for the error you made when you announced my sermon topic for last Sunday. The topic I sent you was 'What Jesus Saw in A Publican.' You printed it as 'What Jesus Saw in a Republican' I had the biggest crowd of the year!"

Iraqi TV Guide

Iraqi TV Guide:

MONDAY

8:00 - Husseinfeld
8:30 - Mad About Everything
9:00 - Suddenly Sanctions
9:30 - Allah McBeal
TUESDAY

8:00 - Wheel of Fortune and Terror
8:30 - The Price is Right if Saddam Says it's Right
9:00 - Children are Forbidden to Say The Darndest Things
9:30 - Iraq's Funniest Public Execution Bloopers
WEDNESDAY

8:00 - Buffy the Yankee Imperialist Dog Slayer
8:30 - Diagnosis: Heresy
9:00 - Just Shoot Me
9:30 - Veilwatch
THURSDAY

8:00 - Mahatma Loves Chachi
8:30 - M*U*S*T*A*S*H
9:00 - Veronica's Closet Full of Long, Black, Shapeless Dresses
9:30 - My Two Baghdads
FRIDAY

8:00 - Judge Saddam
8:30 - Captured Iranian Soldiers Say The Darndest Things
9:00 - Achmed's Creek
9:30 - No-witness News