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The best jokes and joke writers!

Redneck Gets Married

This redneck gets married, but on his wedding night he doesn't know what to do. He's fumbling around for a while, but finally his wife gets fed up and says, "Jeb, ya big idiot! Yer s'pposed to take that thing you play with and put it where I pee!"

So he got his bowling ball and threw it in the outhouse!

Tattooed Penis

A guy surprises his fiancee by having her name tattooed on his penis. In flowing script it says, "Wendy." On their Jamaican honeymoon, he uses a public bathroom and sees a Jamaican man who seems to have the same name tattooed on his penis. The husband asks, "So your girl's name is Wendy, too?" The guy looks down at his penis and says, "No, once de wrinkles come out, it says, 'Welcome to Jamaica, mon! Have a nice day."

It's Bedtime

The bride lay in bed on the first night of their honeymoon while her husband stood at the bedroom window, gazing at the stars. "Come to bed, darling," she whispered after some time had passed. "Not likely," replied the blonde groom, "my mother told me that this would be the best night of my life and I'm not going to miss a minute of it."

The Irish Newlyweds

Did you hear about the Irish newlyweds who sat up all night on their honeymoon waiting for their sexual relations to arrive?

Marrying A Man

Q: What do you call a man that marries another man?

A: A minister