A guy surprises his fiancee by having her name tattooed on his penis. In flowing script it says, "Wendy." On their Jamaican honeymoon, he uses a public bathroom and sees a Jamaican man who seems to have the same name tattooed on his penis. The husband asks, "So your girl's name is Wendy, too?" The guy looks down at his penis and says, "No, once de wrinkles come out, it says, 'Welcome to Jamaica, mon! Have a nice day."
The bride lay in bed on the first night of their honeymoon while her husband stood at the bedroom window, gazing at the stars. "Come to bed, darling," she whispered after some time had passed. "Not likely," replied the blonde groom, "my mother told me that this would be the best night of my life and I'm not going to miss a minute of it."
The Irish Newlyweds
Did you hear about the Irish newlyweds who sat up all night on their honeymoon waiting for their sexual relations to arrive?
Marrying A Man
Q: What do you call a man that marries another man?
A: A minister
A shy priest greets the wedding guests at the Church. He's very nervous and doesn't say much. As the Bride and Groom approach the altar the priest steps up and gives the best homily anyone has ever heard. He's full of confidence, incredibly expressive and has everyone in fits of laughter!
After the vows, the priest is again extremely shy and barely says a word to anyone. The groom approaches the him and asks, "Why are you so shy? You seemed like a different person when you were giving that homily!"
"I know..." Says the priest, "But that was just my altar ego."