Relationship Jokes - Marriage Jokes

Saving Up

This old geezer of 78 marries a girl of 18. The morning after the wedding night, the girl comes down with a pained expression on her face. "What's the matter, dear?" asks the woman at the front desk. "Well," sniffed the girl, "He told me he'd been saving up for 60 years, and I thought he meant his money!"

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Mirror Mirror on the Wall

My wife was standing nude in front of the mirror. She wasn't happy with what she saw and said to me, "I feel terrible; I look old, fat, and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment."
I replied, "Your eyesight is damn near perfect."

Anonymous

Birthday Present for Wife

Two men are sitting in a pub talking, one mentions that it's his wife's birthday soon and he doesn't know what to get her. The second man says that he bought his wife a blue Porsche and a red Porsche for her birthday because if she didn't like the blue one, she could have the red one, and vice versa. The next week, the second man asks the other what he finally bought his wife. He replies, "A necklace and a vibrator." "Why?" asks the second man. To which the other man replies, "Because if she doesn't like the necklace, she can go fuck herself."

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous