She-Devil

There is a man who goes out drinking all the time and comes home very later every night. So on Halloween, his wife decides to teach him a lesson. She dresses up like Satan, and hides in the dark to scare him when he gets home. The man comes home, and his wife jumps out and screams in his face. He just looks at her and says, ''You don't scare me I'm married to your sister!'''

Drown my Troubles

I've often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming!

Final Answer

A husband and wife are getting ready to go to bed. The husband says, "I thought we'd have sex tonight." The wife replies, "No, I'm too tired tonight." The husband says, "Is that your final answer?" The wife says, "Yes, it is, thank you." The husband says, "OK, then, I'd like to phone a friend."