Locate your Heart

An old lady's husband had just died and she felt their was no reason to live anymore. She called the doctor and asked exactly where her heart was. He told her it should be under her left breast. That night she went to the emergency room with a gun shot in the knee.

Goodwill

Wife: I have a bag full of clothes I'd like to donate.
Husband: Why not just throw it in the trash? It's much easier.
Wife: But there are poor starving people who can really use the clothes
Husband: Honey, anyone who fits in your clothes is not starving.

Whistle, Murphy!

Murphy and his wife, a middle-aged couple, went for a stroll in the park. They sat down on a bench to rest. About then they overheard voices coming from a secluded spot. Suddenly, Mrs. Murphy realized that a young man was about to propose. Not wanting to eavesdrop at such an intimate moment, she nudged her husband and whispered, "Whistle and let that young couple know that someone can hear them." Murphy said, "Whistle? Why should I whistle? Nobody whistled to warn me."