Refrigerated Pussy

On the eve of her wedding, the bride- to- be confessed to her best friend that she was worried about her husband finding out that she wasn't a virgin. "No problem," said the friend. "Just go out and buy yourself a nice piece of liver and put it up inside you just before you have sex. You'll feel nice and tight and he'll never know the difference." She went ahead and followed her friend's advice. On her wedding night, she and her new husband went wild. They did it in the tub, they did it on the floor, they did it just about everywhere. The bride woke up the next morning and found her new hubby was gone and all that was left was a note that read: Sweetheart, I love you very much. I feel terrible about what has happened. I can't go on after this, and I know now that we can never have a life together. Goodbye darling.P.S: ...Your pussy is in the refrigerator!

Needs Ironing

A man and his wife were celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary at the same hotel in the same room where they spent their wedding night. In honor of the occasion, she bought a $400.00 silk see-through negligee. After taking off her clothes in the bathroom, she realized that she had left the negligee in the suitcase. Coming out of the bathroom to get it, her husband remarked, "Geez, for $400.00, you'd think they could have ironed the damn thing!"

Two Men Discussing Their Lives

Two men are discussing their lives. One says, "I'm getting married. I'm tired of a messy apartment, dirty dishes, and no clothes to wear. "The other one says, "I'm getting divorced for the same reasons."