Day at the Office

A man comes home from the office and tells his wife he had a frustrating day at work. "Ahhhhh, tell me all about your day honey," his wife says. The husband looks at her and says, "Well... I just did."

Bill And Bob's Wives

Bill and Bob met at the club for their weekly golf game. For the third week in a row, it was raining too hard to play.
 
Bill: Well, Bob, what do you want to do now?
Bob Darts?
Bill Nah.
Bob Shoot some pool?
Bill Nah.
Bob Cards?
Bill Nah. Hey! I've got an idea. We can go over to my house and fool around with my wife.
Bob Whadaya mean?
Bill Just what I said. We'll go to my house and we can fool around with my wife.
Bob What about me?
Bill She's a sport. She won't mind at all.
Bob Well... if you think it's okay...
Bill Sure. C'mon, let's go!
(At Bill's House)
Bill Honey, I'm home. Honey. Sweetheart! Damn! She must have gone shopping. Tell ya what, Bob. Let's go to your house!

The Funeral

One fall day, Dave was out raking leaves when he noticed a hearse going down the street, followed by another hearse, followed by a man walking solemnly along, followed by a dog, and then about 200 men walking in single file.
Intrigued, Dave went up to the man following the second hearse and asked who was in the first one. "My wife," the man replied. "I'm sorry," said Dave. "What happened to her?" "My dog bit her and she died." Dave was taken aback. "And who's in the second hearse?" "My mother-in-law. My dog bit her too and she died as well."
Dave asked, "Can I borrow your dog?"
"Get in line."