Spouse Respect

I get no respect with my wife. I fell asleep with a cigarette in my hand; she lit it.

Deaf Men Won't Listen

Two deaf men were in a coffee shop discussing their wives. One signs to the other, "boy was my wife mad at me last night! She went on and on and wouldn't stop!" The other Buddy says "when my wife goes off on me I just don't listen." "How do you do that?" Says the other. "It's easy! I turn off the light!"

She's Dead

After their love-making session a young bride asks her husband "Was making love to me really the same as making love to Marilyn Monroe?" "Yes, she's dead too!"