Relationship Jokes - Man Criticizes Woman

I get no respect with my wife. I fell asleep with a cigarette in my hand; she lit it.

Two deaf men were in a coffee shop discussing their wives. One signs to the other, "boy was my wife mad at me last night! She went on and on and wouldn't stop!" The other Buddy says "when my wife goes off on me I just don't listen." "How do you do that?" Says the other. "It's easy! I turn off the light!"

After their love-making session a young bride asks her husband "Was making love to me really the same as making love to Marilyn Monroe?" "Yes, she's dead too!"

You know you're a redneck if your wife wants to take a bath but you have to move the transmission from the tub first.

1. Silence, the Final Frontier - Where no woman has gone before.  
2. The Undiscovered Side of Banking - How to make deposits.  
3. Combatting the Imelda Marcos Syndrome - You don't need new shoes everyday.  
4. Dieting Ethics - Learn how not to inflict your Diets on other people.  
5. Nag Nag Nag - how to overcome your tendency to be a fish wife.  
6. Party Attire Reuse - An invitation to a party does not mean that you have to have a new outfit.  
7. Man Management - Discover how the garbage can wait until after the game.  
8. Personal Space - Leaving at least enough space in the bathroom cupboard for your partners toothbrush.  
9. Valuation - Just because it's not important to you.  
10. Communication Skills I - Tears as the last resort and not the first.  
11. Communication Skills II - How to think before speaking.  
12. What he Really Wants - Is buying the right razor blades so difficult.  
13. Driving a Car Safely - A skill you can also acquire.  
14. Party Ethics - Real women drink their share at a party.  
15. Telephones - How to hang up.  
16. Parking - Beginners Course.  
17. Parking (Advanced) - Reversing into a parking space.  
18. The Natural Habitat of the Towel - Why they prefer the floor.  
19. Managing Your Weight - It's not water retention, it's fat.  
20. Learning to Cook I - Bran in not food.  
21. Learning to Cook II - Bringing back bacon and eggs.
22. Compliments - How to accept them gracefully.  
23. PMS - Your problem, not his.