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The best jokes and joke writers!

Honesty Isn't Always Best

A man and woman were lying in bed one night and the woman said to the man, "I sure wish I had bigger tits." The man responded by saying she should rub toilet paper all over them. The woman looked at him and asked, "Toilet paper, what will that do?" The man said, "I don't know, but look what it's done for your ass!"

A Fool

After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." And the husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice it."

Gatting to Know Her

Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?

Dad: That happens in most countries, son.

Police Officer

A man driving on the highway is pulled up by a police officer on a bike. The officer says, "Pull over," and the driver pulls over to the side of the road. He says, "I'm sorry, officer, was I speeding?" The police officer says, "No, mate, but your wife fell out of the car a mile back. "The man replies, "Oh, that explains it. I thought I was going deaf!"

Her Age

Harold's wife bought a new line of expensive cosmetics guaranteed to make her look years younger. After a lengthy sitting before the mirror applying the "miracle" products, she asked, "Darling, honestly, what age would you say I am?" Looking over her carefully, Harold replied, "Judging from your skin, twenty, your hair, eighteen and your figure, twenty five." "Oh, you flatterer!" she gushed. "Hey, wait a minute!" Harold interrupted. "I haven't added them up yet."